Every morning I wake up and think back to 10 months ago, 10 very short months ago. While I think about January 20th every single morning, I react differently each and every morning to January 20th. For example, the month of February I woke up each morning hysterically crying and in denial. In March, I woke up every morning wondering when I would be cleared to work out so I could release my anger in the gym, and the constant reminder of my post partum stomach. April was full of days wondering when we would get answers, due to the time line we were given from a pathologist. Answers that could mend my empty soul, and bring me clarity if something from my own body caused Kennedy’s death. In May, I started to see results from my work outs and felt better emotionally, and then Mothers day came along and placed me back to January. In June, Andrew and I were cleared to try to have another baby. June was also the month we were preparing to move into our brand new home.
My emotions felt like a roller coaster to say the least. July, Andrew and I woke up every morning feeling hopeful and restored. We not only owned our first home, we built it, and found out within a week of living in it that we were PREGNANT! July felt like an antibiotic that finally ran its course. August, September, October and November I have felt nothing but peace. During these months we woke up much happier and embraced whatever the day had for us. While we had our moments full of sorrow and sadness, we were able to look at God’s bigger picture and focus on the prettier parts of the picture and this sweet new life growing inside of me.
For those of you that know me, you know that I wear my emotions on my sleeve. You may also know that I typically have my life together and know not only the next step I take, but the next mile. God really taught me how to rely fully on him these last ten months and think about my reaction when I encounter something that’s not to my liking. I have learned that people hear me better when I slow down before a reaction. I have also learned that I like people who think before they react to an encounter that is outside of their will. Those people that think before they react teach me to be humble, and slow to speak.
While, grief and depression are all very normal emotions when it comes to tragedy, its also not your ultimate answer. God wants us to choose life over death, and wants us to make something of our tribulations! CHOOSE attraction within your reaction and don’t settle when you encounter something not in your will. God has you my friend.
unexpectedly experience or be faced with (something difficult or hostile):“we have encountered one small problem”NOUN
1.an unexpected or casual meeting with someone or something.
If Andrew and I can pray for you in any way shape or form, don’t hesitate to reach out to us by social media, text, phone calls and even email! (Kmfogle13@gmail.com).